From Our Hag to Yours: Tip #1

This Week's Edition: How to get a great hag, and how to keep her!

I'll be chiming in from time to time as your insight into the world of queer living in NYC, as seen through the eyes of your favorite fruit fly. Now, I know all you boys love the company of men...as friends, as lovers, as tricks, but every guy needs a little estrogen in his life (and I don't mean going to see Peppermint at Barracuda). Hopefully by now, you all have established your best girl, your main hag, but if you haven't or are looking to upgrade, here is tip 1:

1) Play the field: Every girl is charmed by a man who showers her with compliments, loves boozy Sunday brunches, and enjoys a 45 minute phone conversation rehashing the subtleties of Top Model. But not all girls are committed to the idea of true gay male best friend. They view it more like an accessory that every single girl in NYC needs. That was probably how I started off with my first gay BFF, but I quickly learned that it takes more than a shared love of Kelly Clarkson and Rock of Love to keep these friendships alive. Make sure the female in question is interested in more than your stunning fashion sense, and you have hit the ground running.

Hardy-On

We were reading HX Magazine this weekend, looking to see ourselves in the back "Seen" section, and saw an interview with the delicious Tom Hardy from Guy Ritchie's new film "RocknRolla". Apparently he plays gay in the film and gets it on with Gerry Butler (so not fair), but we couldn't help but ponder seeing that pretty face somewhere.

Then we realized he is totally a bizarro for one of our favorite newbies this season, Scott! Gosh, we may even think Scott could be cuter if he said things with a British accent like Tom. Nonetheless we are going to check out the film, and keep checking out Scott's ass at dodgeball.

"Guy Ritchie’s Brit thug comedies have always been blatantly homoerotic, but there’s never been an actual homo in the cockney machismo bad boys’ club. That’s about to change with Tom Hardy’s Handsome Bob in RocknRolla..." Click here to see complete article.

G Spotted

While the games winded down, the drinks began to flow at the post-play spot G Lounge. Immediately we saw Brian and Jeff taking it down on the dancefloor while Dominic was grinding the lovely ladies of dodgeball. He was trying to show them the dirty dirty, but it was just plain dirty.We would like to thank Poppi for trying to get us drunk, and then calling us out on it. It's almost as if you set us up!

Hank is back this season and on the Stonewall Riots, after a little "R+R" they say, but we were more shocked to see he had a bizarro who kept grinding on everyone. Perhaps Hank 2.0 is a little bit sluttier than Hank 1.0? Ain't nothing like the real thing.

We also saw Edwin having his fare share of boys coming up to comment on his new pink attire, we thought for sure he wouldn't be going home alone when alas we saw him grab his coat and beeline for the door. Was there an after-after party we weren't aware of? You know you can always trust us to keep the party going. xoxo

Things We Are Loving!

We are totally into Logo's team flair: Orange Socks. 

We don't know if it's because of fall, or the fact that we just watched "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" but we think they rock it. 

Which totally reminds us that Halloween is right around the corner and we don't have a costume. you think the Rachel Zoe costume is already sold out? Gotta love a reason to wear those big bug eyed glasses and tell people they look bananas. 

BREAKING NEWS: "Bear" With Us

We got it on good authority that one KnuckleCrack has a thing for 7-days a Week(s). Sources also told us it's moving from steamy to hot ‘n heavy. Admittedly, we were late in breaking the unBEARable story, but now we're on it -- we even caught the undercover lovers flirting on Facebook today. Your secret is out, boys. Now how about a little PDA?
xoxo

Balls, B*tchiness and Bawdiness

Though there were some fashion snafus (team Logo shirts were white, not orange – GASP!), we managed to get through the evening with minimal ref bitchiness (*cough* Benji), and on-the-court drama (*cough* RJ charging the opposing team). But let’s focus on the positive – we HAVE tees-shirts. Yay!

A ball-catching pit bull with lipstick (affectionately), Vanessa V. single-handedly took out the entire MasterBeat team. And hats off to Jeff S. for A). being the last man standing in each of his Gym Bar games, and B). buying everyone within a five-foot radius of him a drink at G Lounge.

Also, we heard a comment about Splash being "the most handsome team" in the league. Well, it *is* kind of hard to disagree. Pun intended.

I Ain't One To Gossip... 10-16

Which veteran, who we have been hearing quite a lot about recently, could get the title for MVH, "Most Valuable Hookup" at the awards ceremony? Between all of the vets and newbies he gotten around to, we are surprised there is still anyone he hasn't made out with left.

We hear his favorite tactic is slipping out of the bar like two shadows in the in the night...

Orange You Running For President?

So last night we were fascinated by the debates as much as anyone else, and Obama totally rocked it out. The only problem we found was he was looking well a little less black than usual.

In fact he looked downright orange. We wonder if he totally stole Lindsay Lohan's phone, called a tanning salon, and made a last minute appointment to come off as hip and trendy. Maybe it was because we were watching it in High Def or maybe we weren't as fascinated by McCain's combover as usual. Whatever the case may be, we completely think we figured out who this "Joe the Plumber" character is....

We saw her at the Cubby Hole once at the jukebox, and when she said her name was Joe it made us think of "Facts of Life" and the crush we had on Nancy McKeon growing up. Little did we realize how much the candidates were gonna talk about Joe and her issues, and have her be such a central part of the final debate for president of the US.

God did Nancy McKeon make us wanna buy a motorcycle so bad.

SpoonEllen Turns 10!

She's sexy, has pouty lips, and a leg that goes on for miles...
Girl knows how to get around, too.

She's a fan of ours.
We're a fan of hers.

That's why SpoonEllen personally invited Gossip Gays and all of its loyal readers to her 10th birthday party! Though, we don't think she looks a day over three.

Below are the details. You want in? Hit SpoonEllen up on Facebook and be sure to R.S.V.P. to the event. Tell 'em Gossip Gays sent you.

What: SpoonEllen's Surprise 10th Birthday Party
Where: Star Lounge at the Chelsea Hotel - 22 W. 23rd St at 7th Ave.
When: 10PM this Friday October 17, 2008
Why: Private Open Bar for SpoonEllen's guests

Open Your Bar To Me

We know every Mary loves a good drink, but when it's free it totally sweetens the deal. We here are gossipgays are drinkers so when there is an open bar you know we will be there. Over the years we have learned the ins and outs of getting the most out of an open bar, and we would love to share these tips and we know your liver won't be thanking us in the morning.

1. Get there Early! Gosh we love being fashionably late and all, but when there is a time limit of any sorts, you gotta be on time. Besides there isn't usually a wait at the bar and you can begin to....


2. Make friends with the Bartender. Tip him high in the beginning so he remembers you, and if he's cute tell him your name and remind him that he will be seeing a lot more of you.


3. If you have a problem at the door, flash a card. Emblems and recognizable company names help. Hell you might have to drop the fact you work at Michael Kors if it means it will get you into the door. Never argue with the doorman otherwise you might as well go home.


4. Angle your way to the front of the bar by any means neccessary. Elbow that queen who is getting drinks for his 10 person posse and shimmy your way in between those 2 jersey girls who think captain and coke is all the rage.


5. Keep It Simple. Bartenders get frustrated having to make complicated drinks for a open bar demanding crowd. Stick to two elements or less plus booze. If they know you only need a vodka soda, they will serve u faster.


6. Find an Opposite Drink Buddy. Find a friend, trick, ex, etc who prefers a different drink than you. You love vodka crans? Find your latino gay BFF who loves gin and tonics. By ordering two different types of drinks (have said friend go to the bar and stand separate from you while placing the same order), it won't make it seem like you are being gluttonous. When they say "I can only serve one drink person", you now have a BFF and an extra drink!


7. STOCKPILE. Possibly the most important of all the rules, because this will ensure you will have drinks even after open bar is done. Usually done best in moderation, so grab an extra one every time you go up to the bar and just sit them in a comfortable and dark place where the waitstaff won't swipe the cups thinking you are done with them.

MyOpenBar.com is NYC finest way to get your free drink on, even though it's pretty straight. Don't we all have straight friends who complain we never see them enough though?

If you would like to get your gay free drink on, we suggest picking up a NEXT Magazine or an H/X because they have crazy amonts of listings, maps, and guides that will help you to drunkingly stumble from one location to the next seamlessly.

Who knows they could help you find your hangover or your next trick!

Bear Soup

In case you were wondering the ingredients to make Bear Soup...

Start off with a hefty gold chain, make sure it's around a cute cub celebrating his birthday.

Mix in hot otters, let it come to a simmering boil.

Finally top it off with a Dirty Martini and you have yourself the best soup you can find at Truckstop.

Nip and Tuck

Oh my.... Look who got a facelift. We're tightening and tucking things over here at GossipGays.com, because let's face it --if we don't look good, you'll dump us. And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we? Just wait until you see what we've got up our sleeve...
xoxo

What To Do

Since there is no play this Monday for the Big Apple Dodgeball league, they have turned their attention to an activity that doesn't require flip cup skills.

Join them at Splash tonight for Musical Mondays and watch the hilarity that ALWAYS ensues when you mix the BAD!Asses and musicals or as Sergio coined it homosexual musicality (homosexicality).

Where: Splash on 17th between 5th and 6th

Time: 8pm

Drink Specials: 2 for 1 drinks until 9pm.

And if you go, please remember to tell us how it went: Badgossipgays@gmail.com

I Ain't One To Gossip...

Which recent B.A.D. one night stand has turned sour very quickly. We saw re-introductions, eye rolls, and eventually brush offs. We hear this newbie is a real heartbreaker...

Party Crashing

This weekend certainly busy, and there was no shortage of birthdays to be drinking at. Some of our favorite highlights:

- We finally managed to get a drink at the 9th Ave Saloon for Monica's birthday, and boy was it a workout. The bar was packed (we are pretty sure it hadn't been that packed since the 1988 Leather Party) and the jukebox was fierce. We got our "Naughty" stamp (which still hasn't come off our hand!) and cheap drinks and tried to say hello to the birthday girl but even we had to wait in line just to say we were off to Vlada.

- Niki rocked it out in Queens no less, with the wonderful ladies of B.A.D., and we swear, they totally get more action than the guys. They sang, they drank, they got down with their bad selves.

- On Sunday night we played our favorite guessing game:  how many leather bears would it take in a hot tub to make bear soup? Well if it's for Gilbride's birthday (and the end of Leather Weekend), the answer is as many as it can hold. His par-tay at the Park was off the chain and we saw some hot leather daddies in action. The burlesque show was as Rachel Zoe would say "to die", and we are so happy Thom and Mike braved the hot waters of the tub and added their own peas and carrots to make "bear stew". Does Rachael Ray have that recipe for her 30 minute meals? We don't think so.