Save A Horse, Ride A Dodgeballer

It seems good in theory, but we think this smells like disaster, or better yet manure. xoxo

Before Ru Paul had a Drag Race, the gayest way to take in a race was from beneath the brim of an oversized floral hat in the grandstands of a stately, well-manicured racing grounds. On Sunday, May 2nd - the day after the Derby! - we throw back to that tradition and then unceremoniously throw it out the window. On this day, we go to Belmont Park, and Long Island may never be the same again...

Here's how it goes down:

- Meet starting at 11 am at Penn Station's premier upscale lounge, TGI Fridays, near the LIRR tracks
- Purchase round trip tickets to Queens Village ($11.50 off-peak, more expensive if purchased on train)
- Drink
- Board 11:40 train to Queens Village (ONLY the 11:40 gets us there in time to connect with the Belmont Park shuttle; if you do not make this train you are SOL)
- Drink (it's permitted on board the train!)
- Connect to the free Belmont Park shuttle bus at 12:30 (again, this is the ONLY time the shuttle picks up, so you must be on the 11:40 train to connect)
- Arrive at the park in time for 1 pm post time
- Purchase $3 general admission tickets
- Drink (concessions are in the facility and reasonably priced - Yankee Stadium this is not)
- Look at the pretty horsies
- Lose money on the pretty horsies (optional)
- Partake in general fun and merriment (mandatory)
- Drink (hiccup. burp)
- Board one of the three returning shuttles (4:15, 5:15, 6:15)
- Board next train to Penn
- Drink (your mouth is pretty)
- Arrive at Penn
- Go somewhere else and Drink (has anyone seen my pants?)

General Notes:

Outside food and beverage: while coolers are allowed in some areas of the park, they are NOT permitted in the grandstands, so you would have to abandon them in the picnic areas in order to head trackside. That said, the track concessions shouldn't set you back too much. Also, please note that glass bottles are not permitted anywhere in the park - cans and plastic bottles only, please.

Attire: I STRONGLY encourage you to wear the aforementioned floral hats, but for the grandstands the only requirements are to wear shoes and shirt (presumably some sort of bottom covering is required as well, but the website doesn't mention this).

Weather: Granted, we're more than a week out, but at this point Sam Champion is calling for 70s and mostly sunny (after first calling for a rent boy) - perfect for an adventure in an open-air venue like Belmont!

I Ain't One To Gossip: Foreign Exchange

Let's see they're both cute and play dodgeball pretty well. They both share a passion for music and foreign lands. They both were very friendly at the gym and left together after Cubbyhole. We should have figured out that it was inevitable these two would find love after the attention they have received from all of the other boys in the league. We just wonder with their thick accents if they can understand what the other is saying. xoxo

Catch Me If You Can

Our next poll is going to be "Who Is the Best Catch" in the league, and you can take that literally or figuratively. So sound off and let us know who we should include. xoxo

Super-Freak

The results are in for who you thought was a freak in the sheets, and in a surprising victory...

It looks like Chance took it down!

He narrowly beat out Knyko and B Chen for the win. We think that Chance may have some explaining to do. xoxo

One Mike Is Never Enough

Wow we never thought you could fit this many Mikes into one picture, but all of the hotness is burning a hole in our loins. So our question is which Mike is your favorite? Mogavero, Figliulo, Giuggio, Mezzano, Castellano, or Arlotto? They all have an O at the end of their name, and we know for a fact these boys have given their fair share of boys in the league a big *O* as well. xoxo

The Start of an Epidemic

The question is should we start worrying now or later? xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Cubbyhole Shenanigans

Grab Scooby and the Mystery Machine, we got a trio of blind items from last night for you. We swear none of these are harder to figure out than The Ghost at Old Creek Mountain. xoxo

1) Which vet last night was hitting on his on every young guy in sight? His mustache may have been a little more Mario than Luigi, but it's still creepy nonetheless.

2) These two fairly hairless vets were all touchy feely in the front of the bar, even though one of them was, ahem, injured. We are sure they may have set up a date to play doctor in the future.

3) These on-again/off-again hookup buddies seemed to be very on again. It looks like the two may have left together again last night, but not without a fight. It seems one of them isn't feeling it, but ends up leaving when they can't find anyone better.

Who Whore It Better: Drag Edition

RuPaul's Drag Race has entertained us almost as much as the after-parties have this spring. Although we aren't sure which gaysian is more fierce: Brian or Jujubee? We have been totally Team Tyra all the way this season, but Jujubee can work it out with the best of them. The same could be said about Brian on and off the court as well. Which of these two do YOU think could lip synch for their lives better and not fuck it up? xoxo

Hole In One

Finally an afterparty we can look foward to! Cubbyhole is hosting the post play fun tonight, and if the past afterparites are any indication, expect shots, cheap beers, and jukebox full of the best tunes to dance to. The ladies love this place for a reason. xoxo

Giving Us A Woody

Woody's has finally figured out what it takes to have a successful season: a little team love. xoxo

The Real Mean Girls

Alright, so we know that everyone has a little mean girl in them. Hell we think even Mother Theresa stole bread from her sister and told her to "Suck It" back in the day. Though you guys totally put the mean girls to shame in the comments section of this site. For reals. All the anonymous haters out there are really tearing into people like Regina tore into those high calorie weight gain bars from Africa. You are ruthless, biting, sarcastic, and at times hilarious, and we love that you have such strong opinions. The comments have been one of the most exciting parts of the site this season. The various Anonymous commenters have become the real mean girls. Listen, we agree the gossip this season has been lacking because well there's nothing entirely scandalous to report. No one is working the pole at the afterparties (except Jeff and Will of course), no one is having orgies in the basement of the Tony Dapolito Center, and no one is getting naked and dancing the night away to Britney like you have in the past. Or at least no one is telling us about it. Dare we say this league has become...DOMESTICATED? Ugh, we will have no part of that.

This league is living in the age of Post-GG. It's almost as if the site has become it's worst enemy. While not officially affiliated with the league, this site has over time become synonymous with the dodgeball league it's as if they go together like bread and butter. Everyone is so scared of ending up on here no one does anything crazy any more. We blame there not being enough newbies this season to give the league the spark it once had. How many times can we talk about Symmes being hotter than molten lava and Endre throwing a tantrum on the court? BORING! So guess what if you want this to be fun then give us the dish. Let's speak dodgeball terms: it's a team effort and if you don't put in your fair share then the team suffers. So newbies do something exciting and actually venture out to the afterparties. If you are having a super sexy team date, then tell us the dirty details. We can't do this without you. xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Greek Myths

We always thought that this boy kept all his suitors at bay, like some other auricomous greek legends of yore, but it seems that the second he was single he went on the offensive. Not only was this boy sending naughty pictures to his unavailable crush, it seemed he also hoped those photos would act as a trojan horse to sneak his way into a threesome with this boy and his melodious man. Don't get us wrong, we are sure Hades would have been proud of this boy's motives. It's always the ones you least expect. xoxo

Pre-Party In The USA

So last night apparently everyone decided to drink BEFORE the games. God, how did we not think of that? Tequila shots and beers were consumed before entering the Tony Dapolito Center and apparently their strategy worked. The teams that drank won most of their games. Perhaps it was all due to a little liquid courage? What do you think, should Tony Dapolito take out those pesky drink vending machines and install a bar? If they do, we just hope they stock it with a lot of tequila. xoxo

Freak Me Baby

On the court, people are ruthless, aggressive, and completely competitive. Off the court, it seems like a totally different person because they will chat you up, play flip-cup, eat pizza, and gossip about the night's play. Two completely different personalities. So for our next poll, we wanted to see who YOU thought probably seems nice when you meet them, but is probably a freak in the sheets. Tell us who we should include in our poll, then YOU can vote on who you think is a real super freak. C'mon, don't we all love someone who can be a real lady on the streets, but a freak in the sheets? xoxo

30 and Dirty

In case you didn't hear....

Yup Weeks is turning 30! We would usually say he's going to be 30 and dirty, but this guy was dirty long before 30. Yet, somehow he still looks young enough to get carded at a liquor store (we hate you for looking so damn hot). Wait, you didn't hear it was his birthday? You didn't get a facebook message reminding you about his Pool Party, that isn't exactly a Pool Party??

Our facebook has been peppered with incessant messages/wall posts from him harassing  reminding us about his big day. We also have been getting texts, phone calls, and we think we even spotted a plane flying over NYC skywriting about the big day today.

So remember to tell us all the scandalous stories, because if the past repeats itself there will be plenty of dirty things going on. Just don't be too hungover for open play tomorrow, no one likes a messy queen. xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Porn Star Edition

So we have had lot's of people with many professions play in BAD!, but this is the first time we can say that a porn star is playing at the Tony Dapolito Center on Monday nights. He may be a fish out of water on the court because he's a tad older, but he's sweet as peach pie. It's all good because out of his uniform he puts all of the hot young things to shame. xoxo

Stars Are Just Like Us

Looks like Scotty E isn't the only celebrity who is playing dodgeball these days.  Fresh from her performance at White Party in Palm Springs this weekend, wannabe pop tart Ke$ha put on some short pants and hit the court for the West Hollywood Cali Stay Puft Dodge Ball league finals at Staples Center on Monday. According to TMZ her dodgeball skills on the court were almost as bad as her vocals on her horribly addictive songs. When TMZ asked her if she had drank a bottle of Jack before playing the sport, she replied, "Blah, Blah, Blah".  xoxo

Pool Boys

This week's after-party at Woody's was pretty tame this time around, that is until some boys decided to spice up the night and wager their clothes in a friendly game of pool in the back. With Makeout Flip-Cup on it's way out this season, some people decided bring try to bring the fun back to the post play parties. Leading the charge was our new crush Scott who definitely is a contender for HHB this year. Have you seen this boy?

Yup, he may be in a relationship, but boy does he make our hearts melt. Seriously is this the first time you pulled out your pecs? Ruling the table, and keeping his pants he forced the other team to strip down to their panties. However we have a question....

You in the red undies, who you be? You look vaguely familiar.....did we see you at the end of a long night at Urge or something? We just can't put our fingers on it.

Eye spy with our eagle eyes something shiny...is that a nipple ring we spot? How very 1995 of you.

We are hoping this will be the start of a brand new trend this season. xoxo

Bottom's Up!

We decided to ask the gods how many bottoms could you fit into one karaoke room? It looks American Apparel and Eastern Bloc from last season answered our prayers. Our question is who took home the gold for biggest bottom in this picture? Our money is on one of the ladies. xoxo

You Turn Me Upside Down

We are pretty sure this wasn't a stretch for him. xoxo

Soapy Stuff: The End

We just got a little teary when we saw this. RIP Kish. xoxo

The Standings: Shakeup City

Here's what we can tell you, C-IN2 has clawed their way up to the top spot. What we can't tell you is exactly how that is possible since they have played less games than Eagle and Duplex. This who bye-week thing has thrown us for a loop, because we aren't sure how they are on top. And we can always spot who's a top from a mile way. xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Party Crashers Edition

It ain't a party if there isn't someone crashing it right? Looks like you dodgeballers are taking this team dating thing very seriously, because we have heard you bitching about people "crashing" your team date nights for the last couple of weeks now. There seems to be a few dodgeballers who take it upon themselves to show up and party with the teams, even though they aren't playing on the teams. Shame on you for not having your own fun team outings. Although our question is this, if you aren't having a party worth crashing, what's the point? xoxo

Trend Spotting: Dating Teams

We have discovered why there is a lack of hookups this season at the after-parties! It's because whole teams are going on dates with each other. It all started with a simple karaoke date between Penelope (or as we call them Penny's) and Henrietta Hudson's, it spiraled into a super secret hush hush brunch date between Penny's and Eagle, and now we see Eagle and Eastern Bloc are laughing over margaritas at Blockheads!

Guess the after-parties aren't where you are finding the action these days, it's when teams fall in love with each other and only hang out on the sly. Well, if you haven't started dating a team you better hurry up. It looks like Eagle and Penny's are trying to corner the market and date the whole league. xoxo

Spotted: Breast Intentions

We like a girl who can multitask. xoxo

Rock Bottom?

The temperature continues to rise outside and things are really heating up in our little league as well. After a kumbaya-tastic weekend of outdoor play in the beautiful weather and a picnic that looked like it was more fun than any of the after parties this year (where was our invite???), tempers seemed to flare-up this past Monday. Perhaps it’s the lack of newbies or that the vets have all hooked up with each other already, but the after parties this season have been… lacking.

On the courts there was some great drama though. Eagle and Duplex went head to head for the first place slot and it was a great game. Endre and his sweaty sexy arms really dragged Duplex along, but Eagle wanted it too much and pulled through for the win. Sorry Duplex… no undefeated season for you. Although in a bizarre twist of fate Project Sandwich, or as they have dubbed themselves "sand-bitches" (how fitting), took down the once mighty Eagle for a surprise win. They were almost as surprised they won as we were. Also, we will never complain about having to hang around to shag late again.

We got to hear Jason K. of Woody’s and James the Ref go at it. Jason K. was not happy with James’s performance as a ref last night and lit into him. To which James replied to his rants by saying he was going to throw him out of the game. Jason K., sounding like a privileged Upper East Side celebutante, threw down his board status and told James there was no way he was leaving. Dearest Jason, buying a few pizzas doesn’t mean you get to behave like that. Even though James was probably high as a kite when reffing, he is still the ref and deserves some respect. And James, we agree with you: if someone is being a bitch on the court, toss their asses out (it makes for a better post)!  Plus, we like it when you act so butch.

Then when we finally got to Rock Bar, we learned there was drama there too. By the way, we aren’t too thrilled with that space for after parties, are you? It was small, dark and it smelled worse than Leven’s arm pit in back, but hey, we have to pay our dues to the people on the back of our shirts right? Apparently, there was live music at the bar when the dodgeballers started to roll in and one of the performers was upset that they weren’t paying attention to him and his ukulele (no joke). He started singing a song where he screamed at the bar to “shut the fuck up”. Now, I know they banned smoking in bars, and now you can’t dance without a license, but talking? Luckily the guy realized that no one was listening to him and that no one wanted to listen to him and stormed off the stage. That’s show business!

With that tragedy off stage, they reverted back to real music and it was about time that Rock Bar earned its title. The tunes were pumping and not your standard dodgeball fare of Whitney, Britney Gaga, and Madonna. We’re talking some fierce 60’s, 70’s and 80’s tunes. We saw Stacey and her attached at the hip partner Jeremiah rocking it out to Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” so hard that they made all us Mary’s proud. Although Stacey why the long face after what seemed like a bitchfest with Erika outside? We couldn't hear, but judging from your face, we are guessing you girls weren't discussing puppies and rainbows. Over at the pool table the ladies were knocking balls with some of the boys. Sergio was up against some fierce girls like Cyn, Tamika and Nicole. He got beat harder than Ike beat Tina on that pool table. Sergio, you’ve been voted the flip cup champion. Maybe you should stick to that. We also saw Jerry hanging around too and, we must say, we are happy to see him with those piercing blue eyes and a smile that would melt even Ricky Martin’s newly gay heart.

After the feeding frenzy of pizza (so much for that Fire Island diet, huh boys?), the table was cleared off and prepped for flip cup. It was a little improved from last week, but not much. We didn’t play much at all because the corner they stuck the table in was about 100 degrees and smlet like a mix of must and dust. We heard ladies were taking off their bras and Mezzano was putting them on. We thought we all agreed that it was better when Mezzano was wearing less clothing, not more (same applies to Endre, Conti, Lukus, Trevor, etc, etc). We heard that after we left, spin the bottle came out and some vets and newbies were mackin’ it up. We need to learn how to weight the bottle so it’ll land on Andreau. Also, Andreau, who was your special guest? He was quite the tall drink of water. You have hot friends; keep supplying the parties with fresh meat, we really appreciate it!

The flip cup table played a very quiet second fiddle to what had our attention: the NCAA championship game. We are a sport league, right? So we put on our best butch face and pretended we knew what was going on. Everyone seemed to be going for Butler except Southern newbie Adam. What’s his story by the way? He catches like a pro on the court and he catches our eye at the after parties. He has that sexy deep voice, those gorgeous eyes, he's friendly to everyone (shocker we know) and that adorable smile. Adam, your North Carolina team won the championship and you’ve won us over with your charm, so keep it coming!

The party disbanded a bit and we saw a few vets leaving together, but we think it was just to share cabs. The recession has totally messed up our ability to discern whether people are going home together or just sharing cost of transport. Damn economy!! We watched all the cute boyfriends act, well, cute. Dom and his boyfriend, who has been hanging around a lot lately, were caught smooching innocently throughout the night. We even caught Steve with his arm around BBahr. It really pangs us to say it but that was actually pretty endearing to see. Maybe we were wrong when we said it wasn’t going to last… When we realized we didn’t have anyone to put our arm around except another $2.50 Alabama Slammah, we knew it was time to make a hasty exit. xoxo

Say What: Multiple Choice

We wonder why so many of you dodgeballers were on the edge of your seats?

A) You were trying to look butch and pretended to be interested in basketball game.

B) You were waiting to hear from Jason K if the pizzas were coming or not.

C) You were just as surprised as we are at how many bottoms are in the league.

D) None of the above - you can't shock this crowd anymore.

We think we know the real answer. xoxo

Who's On Top Now?

My, my, my. How the mighty have fallen. xoxo