The Standings: Shakeup City

Here's what we can tell you, C-IN2 has clawed their way up to the top spot. What we can't tell you is exactly how that is possible since they have played less games than Eagle and Duplex. This who bye-week thing has thrown us for a loop, because we aren't sure how they are on top. And we can always spot who's a top from a mile way. xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Party Crashers Edition

It ain't a party if there isn't someone crashing it right? Looks like you dodgeballers are taking this team dating thing very seriously, because we have heard you bitching about people "crashing" your team date nights for the last couple of weeks now. There seems to be a few dodgeballers who take it upon themselves to show up and party with the teams, even though they aren't playing on the teams. Shame on you for not having your own fun team outings. Although our question is this, if you aren't having a party worth crashing, what's the point? xoxo

Trend Spotting: Dating Teams

We have discovered why there is a lack of hookups this season at the after-parties! It's because whole teams are going on dates with each other. It all started with a simple karaoke date between Penelope (or as we call them Penny's) and Henrietta Hudson's, it spiraled into a super secret hush hush brunch date between Penny's and Eagle, and now we see Eagle and Eastern Bloc are laughing over margaritas at Blockheads!

Guess the after-parties aren't where you are finding the action these days, it's when teams fall in love with each other and only hang out on the sly. Well, if you haven't started dating a team you better hurry up. It looks like Eagle and Penny's are trying to corner the market and date the whole league. xoxo

Spotted: Breast Intentions

We like a girl who can multitask. xoxo

Rock Bottom?

The temperature continues to rise outside and things are really heating up in our little league as well. After a kumbaya-tastic weekend of outdoor play in the beautiful weather and a picnic that looked like it was more fun than any of the after parties this year (where was our invite???), tempers seemed to flare-up this past Monday. Perhaps it’s the lack of newbies or that the vets have all hooked up with each other already, but the after parties this season have been… lacking.

On the courts there was some great drama though. Eagle and Duplex went head to head for the first place slot and it was a great game. Endre and his sweaty sexy arms really dragged Duplex along, but Eagle wanted it too much and pulled through for the win. Sorry Duplex… no undefeated season for you. Although in a bizarre twist of fate Project Sandwich, or as they have dubbed themselves "sand-bitches" (how fitting), took down the once mighty Eagle for a surprise win. They were almost as surprised they won as we were. Also, we will never complain about having to hang around to shag late again.

We got to hear Jason K. of Woody’s and James the Ref go at it. Jason K. was not happy with James’s performance as a ref last night and lit into him. To which James replied to his rants by saying he was going to throw him out of the game. Jason K., sounding like a privileged Upper East Side celebutante, threw down his board status and told James there was no way he was leaving. Dearest Jason, buying a few pizzas doesn’t mean you get to behave like that. Even though James was probably high as a kite when reffing, he is still the ref and deserves some respect. And James, we agree with you: if someone is being a bitch on the court, toss their asses out (it makes for a better post)!  Plus, we like it when you act so butch.

Then when we finally got to Rock Bar, we learned there was drama there too. By the way, we aren’t too thrilled with that space for after parties, are you? It was small, dark and it smelled worse than Leven’s arm pit in back, but hey, we have to pay our dues to the people on the back of our shirts right? Apparently, there was live music at the bar when the dodgeballers started to roll in and one of the performers was upset that they weren’t paying attention to him and his ukulele (no joke). He started singing a song where he screamed at the bar to “shut the fuck up”. Now, I know they banned smoking in bars, and now you can’t dance without a license, but talking? Luckily the guy realized that no one was listening to him and that no one wanted to listen to him and stormed off the stage. That’s show business!

With that tragedy off stage, they reverted back to real music and it was about time that Rock Bar earned its title. The tunes were pumping and not your standard dodgeball fare of Whitney, Britney Gaga, and Madonna. We’re talking some fierce 60’s, 70’s and 80’s tunes. We saw Stacey and her attached at the hip partner Jeremiah rocking it out to Tina Turner’s “Proud Mary” so hard that they made all us Mary’s proud. Although Stacey why the long face after what seemed like a bitchfest with Erika outside? We couldn't hear, but judging from your face, we are guessing you girls weren't discussing puppies and rainbows. Over at the pool table the ladies were knocking balls with some of the boys. Sergio was up against some fierce girls like Cyn, Tamika and Nicole. He got beat harder than Ike beat Tina on that pool table. Sergio, you’ve been voted the flip cup champion. Maybe you should stick to that. We also saw Jerry hanging around too and, we must say, we are happy to see him with those piercing blue eyes and a smile that would melt even Ricky Martin’s newly gay heart.

After the feeding frenzy of pizza (so much for that Fire Island diet, huh boys?), the table was cleared off and prepped for flip cup. It was a little improved from last week, but not much. We didn’t play much at all because the corner they stuck the table in was about 100 degrees and smlet like a mix of must and dust. We heard ladies were taking off their bras and Mezzano was putting them on. We thought we all agreed that it was better when Mezzano was wearing less clothing, not more (same applies to Endre, Conti, Lukus, Trevor, etc, etc). We heard that after we left, spin the bottle came out and some vets and newbies were mackin’ it up. We need to learn how to weight the bottle so it’ll land on Andreau. Also, Andreau, who was your special guest? He was quite the tall drink of water. You have hot friends; keep supplying the parties with fresh meat, we really appreciate it!

The flip cup table played a very quiet second fiddle to what had our attention: the NCAA championship game. We are a sport league, right? So we put on our best butch face and pretended we knew what was going on. Everyone seemed to be going for Butler except Southern newbie Adam. What’s his story by the way? He catches like a pro on the court and he catches our eye at the after parties. He has that sexy deep voice, those gorgeous eyes, he's friendly to everyone (shocker we know) and that adorable smile. Adam, your North Carolina team won the championship and you’ve won us over with your charm, so keep it coming!

The party disbanded a bit and we saw a few vets leaving together, but we think it was just to share cabs. The recession has totally messed up our ability to discern whether people are going home together or just sharing cost of transport. Damn economy!! We watched all the cute boyfriends act, well, cute. Dom and his boyfriend, who has been hanging around a lot lately, were caught smooching innocently throughout the night. We even caught Steve with his arm around BBahr. It really pangs us to say it but that was actually pretty endearing to see. Maybe we were wrong when we said it wasn’t going to last… When we realized we didn’t have anyone to put our arm around except another $2.50 Alabama Slammah, we knew it was time to make a hasty exit. xoxo

Say What: Multiple Choice

We wonder why so many of you dodgeballers were on the edge of your seats?

A) You were trying to look butch and pretended to be interested in basketball game.

B) You were waiting to hear from Jason K if the pizzas were coming or not.

C) You were just as surprised as we are at how many bottoms are in the league.

D) None of the above - you can't shock this crowd anymore.

We think we know the real answer. xoxo

Who's On Top Now?

My, my, my. How the mighty have fallen. xoxo

You Say Goodbye, We Say Hello

PRESS PLAY!

The season is officially a third of the way over, and we have noticed a lot of changes this season from the last. Some of these changes are for the better, some for the worse and some for the more dramatic, our favorite being the latter of course. We obviously won’t cover all aspects of change in this post, and we encourage our vets to comment on what they see as the change from last year’s epic season to this year’s rather hum-drum season.

1. TEAMS: Goodbye American Apparel, Hello Penelope

We have to say, American Apparel had to be the cutest team last season. They had Lukus, Vanessa, both Matts, and Castellano. Even Rob, who was obnoxious and self involved, was a looker. We couldn't help but giggle to ourselves watching Wind parade around the gym every week with that pink dodgeball. Not content being just pretty faces, they were fun, excitable and even their uniform flair boosted how cute they were. Off the court everyone wanted to be their friends and on this blog everyone seemed to want to be in their beds. But we seemed to have lost that sponsor and the Angels/Princesses (which was it by the way?) have been split-up more than Vinny and James. Then stepped in Penelope. Perhaps the cutest place on Earth to have brunch has somehow been blessed with the cutest players as well. The common dominator being Lukus (yes, yes, we are totally in the LFC: Lukus Fan Club, who isn’t?), but he has now been joined by cuties Dom, Giuggugiolioguoili (that's how you spell it right?) , Dykey Mikey and completely dreamy newbies Nick and Tamika. Even their team name, Inglorious Brunchers, is cuter than if kittens and puppies could mate under a rainbow. They may not be the best players, but we’d catch or throw for anyone on that team.

2. CAPTAINS: Goodbye Mikey, Hello Monica

A whole diatribe could be written about how thrilled we are to see Eastern Bloc disbanded, but that would just encourage them to do that annoying cheer more at the after parties, so we’ll just focus on the fact that their annoying behavior stemmed from their loudmouthed captain, Mikey. All hatred aside, we are slightly jealous at how well Mikey was able make a team that tight, but we won’t miss having to hear him and his disciples on the court every week or watch their displays of public affections at the after parties. The good news is Mikey has been demoted to merely a player this year (obviously with much chagrin) and thusly cannot rally a new class of annoying teammates. The even better news is that now that Monica isn’t Mikey’s second banana, he has risen back to power and is the captain of Gaydar.net (make sure you check out their awesome shirts). We felt that Monica got a little soft playing with Eastern Bloc last season because of all the team love, but now, if the Facebook pictures are any indication, the fully agro, double throwing, Carrie Underwood loving heartbreaker is back and ready to rock the Tony D center. We’re also glad to see him rocking the after parties too. Steve, we love when you’re like this… Keep it up. Now if you were only single again…

3. LESBIANS: Goodbye Niki, Hello Stacey

Now we always love the ladies, and you never forget your first love. The first lady we fell in love with was none other than Niki. A woman who can pull off pigtails and still take out most of the best guys in the league with her mad throws and amazing catches is hard not to love. What we’ve noticed lately though is Niki has been getting quiet with age. We remember our first after party many moons ago where the flip cup table was dominated by Niki and she was unstoppable on the dancefloor. Now at the after parties she opts for a quiet moment with board members or sharing a drink with the other ladies in the corner. Well, thankfully our super fun lesbian spot has been filled by Stacey. This relatively new member has stepped it up this season. She’s made every after party a little more intense, stepped up her skills on the court, could out-wrestle Hulk Hogan and sings a fierce karaoke. Just as it was with Niki before, it’s hard to find a person in the league that doesn’t adore this lady. Maybe Niki has settled down because she’s found her soul mate Jacob, but that just gives Stacey more traction to keep up the great job she’s done in representing the ladies this season.

4. HOTTEST NEWBIE: Goodbye Trevor, Hello Andreau

Mezz may have won the hottest newbie last season, but people, he has a boyfriend and he’s 100% faithful (read: boring). So we are moving the title over to Trevor, who caused quite a few waves last season and some even this season. We’ll miss Trevor’s vacant glances around the flip cup table (“Is he checking me out or still trying to figure out how this game works?”) but we’ll happily welcome the come hither bedroom eyes of Andreau. Andreau has already been busy this season and seduced a few boys with his oddly huge arms, mischievous smile, and seamlessly unending supply of tight, slogan-laden shirts. The worst part of it all is that Andreau also is incredibly NICE. We remember meeting him at an after party and *he* started the conversation with *us*. We were so flattered, that is until we realized he was that nice to everyone, sssiiiigghhhh. So gone are the days of forced conversations with Trevor (he's REALLY pretty, but too quiet and shy for his own good) and now are the days of endless flirting with Andreau and the endless fantasizing of him playing dodgeball shirtless.

5. FLIPCUP: Goodbye Truth or Dare, Hello ???

We remember last season where you didn’t come to the flip-cup table unless you were ready strip on a pole or suck on a toe. From the moment the first person uttered the words, “Now that you lost you have to do a truth or dare,” we were in love with the idea. It landed us some prime makeouts, hilarious memories and more fodder for this site than we knew what to do with. However, some little natches complained that the truth or dare aspect of the game deterred them from participating. So the board, in their infinite wisdom, has been trying to keep the nasty factor out of the game. Policing a drinking game? Really? What next? Salad bars instead of pizza at the parties to curb adult obesity? Flip-cup is fun and all, but it was even more fun when spiced up. We’ll play along with the board and say that maybe truth or dare flip cup isn’t the best way to go, but let’s think of something to make it more fun than just the same way every college kid plays. If you ask us, “Strip-Cup” has a nice ring to it…

6. THE BOARD: Goodbye Old Vanessa, Hello New Vanessa

After what we saw as a lukewarm attempt at being Commissioner last season, we have to say Vanessa has stepped it up this season. We weren’t sure she was even the right person for the job last season because she was following some incredible people before her. Paul the *old* Commissioner could command a presence like nobody’s business and ran the league with an iron fist and a devil's laugh. Vanessa came in a little weak, but this season she’s hitting her stride. We don’t know what happened down in Brazil, but she’s stronger, more decisive and shaping the league in a more fun, welcoming way. She’s even thwarted some of our best attempts at turning this league into a big gossipy mess (like with number 5). She’s also given a lot of respect to the sport we play. The refs are better, the rules are tighter and most of us have a pair of shorty shorts that would make Norman blush all because of her. Keep up the good work V.

Those are a few of the differences we have noticed and welcome you all to submit yours; good or bad. Earlier we stated that this season has been pretty hum-drum but we have 8 more weeks to make this perhaps the best season yet for BAD! We encourage you all to be bold: make out with that guy or gal you’ve had your eye on, take your shirt off at the flip cup table or get in that cage and dance your heart out to that Bon Jovi song. Just please make sure we’re there to see it. xoxo

Sticks and Stones

Well Stonewall started out innocently enough. A nice game of flip-cup in the corner, some harmless dancing on the other side, the old Eastern Bloc team making a scene with their weekly and highly annoying chant, and several dodgeballers carrying around pitchers of $10 beer. Yup, sounds like your typical Stonewall after-party for the season. There was love in the air as we watched our fair share of couples finally making good on all of that sexual chemistry that had been building since the beginning of the season. Rachel and Nicole getting down and quite dirty by the flip-cup table, Weeks and newbie Andreau making an impromptu trip to the bathroom together, and then there was the spectacle that was our favorite pocket gay and the guy with the Bo Sox hat.

Yup PG Tim is back this week, and he was ALL OVER Bo-Sox Boy on the couches. One minute they were making out, the next they were dry humping each other, we kinda felt like we were watching a Bel Ami video, right before it gets to the good stuff. Good for PG Tim though, last season we hardly could pick him out of a crowd, and now he's putting on a show that had all the boys jealous they weren't getting the same kind of attention he was receiving. We know there were phone numbers exchanged but we don't think they ended up sharing a cab. There's always the weekend...

The Bingo mistress downstairs did her best to get those dodgeball boys shirtless and drunk on shots, and it worked for some. Jeff G looked plenty blizted, and quite nice shirtless we must add, but when we saw him run to the bathroom after taking that shot, we knew it could only be trouble. It was at that point the after-after party kicked into high gear and headed to WOOF! It had been a while since we smelt the sweet sweet smell of sweat and leather. It was then that we knew the dodgeball after parties were finally kicking it into high gear and for the first time this season, it felt like the stuff newbies had only heard stories about. xoxo

Makeups and Breakups: 3-29

We aren't odds makers, but should we place our bets now? xoxo

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Tricks

We decided to take a look back at the season so far and examine all of the fun you may have missed, may have indulged in, or may have been so blackout drunk you didn't realize you had fun.

 Meet the Geek Chic Crew,  because you know looking smart by wearing glasses at dodgeball is SOOOO in this season. They will give their intellectual opinions about life, life and the pursuit of getting lucky at any dodgeball after party.

We wonder what Endre thought was soooo funny?

That's a sandwich we wish was on the menu at Project Sandwich!

We hope Norman picked a winner.

All those dance lessons are finally paying off.

Adam is either watching a documentary on the History Channel, women's golf, or Splash play. We can't tell.

We always duck when we see this face.

Two hands = double trouble.

When they say sing your heart out, they didn't mean it literally. xoxo

I Ain't One To Gossip: Bad Santa Edition

Santa Claus isn't the only one who's making a list and checking it twice: which high-flying and extremely competitive vet keeps a list of all his dodgeball sexual conquests on his iPhone and then shares it with other people in a manner of bragging? He's even so organized that he makes a designation as to whom on that list he has "penetrated". We hope he's talking about how he's penetrated their hearts, 'cause from what we saw, that's a pretty long list. We were pretty impressed with how many boys have been "naughty" with this vet. Let's hope the league is getting some penicillin in their stockings this season. xoxo

Spotted: Just Bearly

Spotted in a sea of bears, and with famed photographer Terry Richardson no less, was Eagle's very own Eric. If this was a forest, or a Grim's Fairy Tale, we would under the occasion for all the fur. Judging by all of the leather, and um lack of shirts, we are guessing this was the remnants of The Black Party or something. Whatever the reason, any excuse to get a shirt off of our favorite otter in the league is good enough for us. xoxo

Duplexal Tension

After a weekend of sunny weather and outdoor dodgeball action (did anyone else get as tan as us?), the merry men and women of BAD! came together on a dark stormy night. Not much happened on the court last evening, but off the court was a different story -which we will get to later. Open play was well attended and super fun. We must give kudos to the board for extending the open play time: well done! Then the only other mentionables is that Team Eduardo *we mean Eagle* finally had a game taken from them by Gym Bar (Gym and the Holograms = totally the cutest team name ever) and Project Sandwich ate their way to a well deserved victory. If you ask us, other than Eagle, there are no clear break away teams this season. Hmmmm, do you think maybe the board feted the teams? It also seems that they feted it so that no fun people ended up on any of the same teams. The overall attitude in the gym is pretty low energy if you ask us… What’s up with that?

Anyways, on to the good stuff: the after party at Duplex. It was quite funny to watch the dodgeballers roll in to Duplex all wet and when they got to the top of the stairs, looking around thinking, “Did I go to the right bar?” Don’t worry kids, you did. We know that Poppi wasn't there to ply us with drinks and Lady Gaga, but the post-game fun was just in the cabaret in the back. And fun it was. Perhaps you can blame it on Spring Fever, but the ‘ballers were all a bit frisky last night. Flip-Cup ruled the small theatre’s stage for the beginning of the night and everyone started to get cozy with a drink. Eduardo, Jacob and Trevor were arm wrestling in back. Apparently Eduardo and Trevor are all quiet on the hook up front, so there has to be a different way to release the sexual tension. We know Jacob would have been happy to help them with their "release".

Then Steve had the idea to change the game up a bit and do “Lip Sync For Your Life” a la RuPaul’s Drag Race. The idea had promise, and some of us were very excited to see which members would give it a go. But then it dawned on us: this was just another opportunity for attention whores (*cough* BBahr & Mikey *cough*) to beg for the spotlight some more. Luckily, we were treated to some guest stars that made us smile like Vanessa and Castellano, but our attention waned quickly and couldn’t wait for the awkwardfest to end. Steve: valiant effort, but let’s not do that again. We are still cringing a bit today at work.

With the lip service over, boys started to pair up and the new hot couple of the moment (Nick and John) was seen leaving together for a second week in a row. We wonder if they had to flip a coin for our favorite game, "Who's gonna bottom tonight?"… Then thankfully the flip cup table came back. We flipped for a bit and checked out the trade at the table, but what surprised us the most were the amount of girls that came to party. And they didn’t just sit in the corner and chat among themselves this time around. They are going to give the boys a run for their money this season. The flip cup was mostly straight forward other than a tepid attempt to get Truth or Dare going. Rumor has it that upper management is trying to put the kibosh on that game, but we’ll see how well they pull that off. Endre was throwing himself at Andreau the whole game, (can they be required to play with their shirts off this season?), Nicole and Jason traded shirts (how fierce is that girl?), we saw Bex bench pressing the boys (pocket gays at that) and guys were making out with girls (ew).

But then the royal rumpus started. Out of nowhere, Stacey, who spent most of her night in deep conversation with that blond bombshell Rachel just outside the party (Oh my! ladies Eastern Bloc was soooo last season) decided that winning last season’s “Loveliest Lady” contest wasn’t the only title she wanted: she wanted to win the WWE Championship belt as well. Like out of a scene of Wrestlemania VI, her and super cute Laura started getting down and dirty. Not that we were complaining, give the girls some jello and bikinis and we could make some serious cash at the next after-party. It was almost as if they were at a Home Depot super sale and there was only one power drill left. Stacey definitely had the upper hand but Laura held her own and thankfully when Stacey finally pinned Laura they were still all smiles. The lesbionic sexual tension was delicious. Keep it up ladies; we love when you party hard.

The night started to wind down, the music got shut off and the girls were reprimanded for wrestling, but WAIT! Jason K came to the rescue armed with pizza and munchies, and the remaining dodgeballers chowed down like they were fat kids at an all you can eat buffet. For the future, avoid all things garlic past midnight. It was at that point and we watched BBahr go home without Steve for the second time, mostly so Steve could stay and satiate his wandering eye on the flip cup table (even Stevie Wonder saw this one coming kids) and the remaining ladies and gentlemen made desperate attempts to find someone to walk home with in the rain. That was our cue to exit before we took advantage of one those lonely boys or girls. We guess when it rains, it pours. xoxo

Just Ass-king

What grown and sexy vet decided to show Urge some Eagle Love by showing them his full moon at the St. Patrick's Day post party Wednesday night? Ass Wednesdays will never be the same, but 10 pts for firmness. xoxo